a stunningly attractive woman. (part I of V)

yeah, i said it. 

are we supposed to be obsessed with our looks? of course not.

but we better be attractive to our husbands! (and hey, ourselves.)

sooooo...

let's dress like babes! 

as a fashion designer, i am constantly getting asked my style advice. my style is super eclectic (i love every style of dress, so what's a girl to do but wear it all?!)

this advice isn't just for young chicks-every woman can benefit. after all, who do you think dresses my mom? seriously.

alright, here are my top 10 items every woman needs in her wardrobe.(or at least the first 2. more commin’ at ya soon.)

1.an understated piece of jewelry (or two)

this doesn't mean it's small and boring. example: i have a vintage mustard-colored bakelite bangle that i wear every single day. i've worn it for the past year and a half, and still look forward to putting it on. i have a clear plastic heart cocktail ring i wear daily as well. both pieces blend but pop nicely with every color and outfit, and i have grown to feel like they are a part of who i am. as silly as that may sound, it's nice to wear a piece that we feel represents us and reminds us of how special and unique we are. whether i'm washing the dishes or am at a major fashion event, i'm wearing them.

2. a shoulder bag.

if the right one is found, this is another must-have piece. every girl needs a big bag to carry all the necessities of life. carrying it diagonally over the body creates a nice slimming line, as well as allows two free hands. you won't know how you ever got around with that annoying little handbag.

notice the illusion of height the lines from wearing the bag diagonally give to my short frame. even if you don't know what i'm talking about, i promise you i'm right. :) i especially love the chartreuse color-i wear this bag with everything.

alrighty, there are 2 very necessary wardrobe components out of 10. go on a mission to find your perfect pieces. there'll be more coming soon-you don't want to miss it!

xoxo Alexa

the choice to trust.

my heart hurts. 

so much.

this has been a very empty season in my walk with Christ.

my soul faints for Your salvation, but I hope in Your word.

my eyes fail from searching Your word, saying, "when will You comfort me?" (psalm 119:81&82)

this is a first for me. in my few years on earth, i have never experienced such a lack of unity with my Lord. whenever i have sought, He has always been there. i know He is still there, i just can't feel Him.

why is this?

i have been pestering everyone i know for knowledge on this miserable limbo i have been experiencing. during this desperate search for an answer, my dear friends and i have come to a multi-faceted conclusion: 

our sin separates us from God and can only be washed away by the blood of Jesus Christ, which has already happend in my life (yay!) even though we know we as christians are forgiven, sometimes sin can get in the way of our relationship with christ. however, i know this is not what's going on in this particular desert i am walking through. i have given every part of me to him willingly and don't know what else to do. the next part of our answer is simply that God may draw his heavy hand of spiritual feelings away for a period simply to make us long after him. i just never knew how awful it would feel. (don't get me wrong, He says He will never leave or forsake us and that is TRUE.)

so, my answer is this.

but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (isaiah 40:31)

what am i supposed to be waiting for? 

waiting is not passive. that's the part that gives me hope.

and no matter what, even if this desert is weeks, or months, or even years, long, i KNOW He is right beside me and there for the taking because His word tells me so. so i will make the choice to trust in 

Him even though i don't feel a darn thing. 

i have a feeling i am going to see major workings of Christ in my life during this wretched time, and i am excited.

and they that know Thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee. (psalm 9:10)

life is not a question of whether or not we can trust our creator. aren't you so thankful for that? if no, contact me and will chat some more. i don't know everything, i know that He is faithful to those who love Him. 

we must choose to trust when our heart wants to give up. make the choice, and he will change your heart.

now that, i know.

i know that i know that i know.

thank you, Jesus.

HE loves a modest girl

what in the fried bologna does that mean?

don't show your boobs too much?

i think not.

i read this book recently by a crazy uber-conservative couple (don't get me wrong, i am just that) and learned a little something about modesty.

it was the best chapter in the book. they told about how being modest was not just about how we dress or in other aesthetics. we've all heard that verse: "...that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array...(1 Timothy 2:9.)  

how may of us have actually studied that, girls?

okay, so we know not to hang it all out there. i'll let you use your own imagination as to the many reasons why. but, what about this shamefacedness and sobriety (sounds like) nonsense?  

it's not.

it means we're not supposed to be silly, amused (finition: happy but mindless time-wasting,) or out to get attention. i have a silly personality, but i am not a silly girl. there's a difference, dear friends.  be serious when you should be. your entire demeanor can be goofy, respectful, pleasant, and, well, modest, all at the same time. don't think GOD wants you to lose your peppy personality, because HE doesn't. HE just wants you to think of holier, more righteous things than yourself. how can we do that if we are constantly harboring the deadly disease of inane entertainment in our daily lives?  and let's not forget the importance of how we dress.

quick tip: buy your pants a size too large. this will make you look thinner, like you've lost weight, and be much less form fitting. as a fashion designer, this is my trick to looking thin. also, add a neck scarf to that too-low top. so chic and GOD-pleasing!

to be perfectly blunt, any time we get all dressed up and think "well golly, i look cute"  and hope everyone else thinks it too, we're being immodest. if we want the boy or snotty girl in the pew behind us on Sunday morning to look at us and see how adorable or funny or talented we are, we are being immodest. we can do this even if we aren't dressing like a sleeze-bucket.  

who's friend would you rather be? a girl (or guy) who's spends their time on the interests of others or the friend of someone who just wants to be noticed?

i had never thought about it like that. now i'm definitely making sure i am the former.

what other modesty tips and tricks do you have, behavior or fashion wise?

 

a girl who wants it all.

use me, waste me, break me on YOU LORD.  

ruin me,  break me,  waste me on YOU.

to starve is to feast and less of me is more of JESUS

LORD, i want it all

LORD, i want it all

if i lose my life, i gain everything

at the cross away with all deaths stain

LORD, i want it all

LORD, i want it all.

(I Want it All by Shane and Shane)

i chaperoned for our church's youth retreat this past weekend and was fortunate enough to have GOD work in my own heart.  i almost felt guilty at first-like i was taking away the plans the LORD had in store for me to help the teens.  but, i was reminded the timing of the HOLY SPIRIT isn't something to take lightly.  to be quite honest, HE did more than let me have some emotional experience-he revealed something major, something that has been hidden so deep in my heart i didn't even know it was there.  

now believe me, i've looked.  i've begged for JESUS to show me where i'm not trusting him or not obeying him.  i am more than willing to give up everything in order to take up my cross and follow him.  but i have had no clue what was hindering my relationship with him, and it has been going on for almost a year.

i still can't look back and say, "ah, alright, i was stupid, i see where i messed up."  that's what made giving it all to HIM so difficult.  what was i holding on to?

after several hours of dissecting the issue with my youth pastor and another close friend, i was informed i have been simply missing out on HIS grace because i want to please him so much.

what the heck?

no, i wasn't living a works based faith.  i am definitely saved.  and know my works are like filthy rags in his sight.  this dry spell in my relationship with CHRIST rather new development.  i know what HIS grace feels like. i have been born again, and it's indescribable.  

i analyze.  a lot.  i want to know everything.  i want to be right.  i don't want to be like job and question GOD, and i don't want to be in love with the LORD like david but go out and kill someone.  i want to be in relationship with him and be righteous at the same time.  not a bad thing, but satan has twisted this concept for me.

i have been refusing to accept GOD's grace simply because i have not felt his love for me.  i over-analyze by talking it out with him, saying "GOD, i know you love me because of how blessed i am by having such amazing people in my life.  i know i am blessed, and i know i am loved."   

and then the conversation stops.  and all i want so desperately is for it to continue.

i am so afraid of expressing any kind of unhappiness or discontent to the LORD for fear of having someone i love be removed from my life.  maybe the rejection i have felt so harshly in the past 2 years of my life has something to do with it (2 men in 2 years proclaiming their love and plans to marry me and then changing their minds quite suddenly out of fear of providing or just simply not loving me enough.)  i have fully trusted the LORD through all of this, knowing HIS ways are not my ways and all will be more than well.  but the rejection of men has caused me so much grief i have lost the simple, joyous feeling of GOD's love and grace for me.  i know it's there, i just haven't been able to feel it.  and i have been too scared to be honest with GOD.  i don't want to be wrong .  i don't want to be ungrateful.  i don't want to be one of those new-age christians who just talk about their spiritual experience crap.  i just want to be content, faithful, patient, and to feel HIS love again! 

i want it all.  who knew it was something so simple this whole time?  well, i did, but then i started analyzing....

JESUS, help us to be righteous through the strength of YOUR HOLY SPIRIT, and pour down your love on us.